How Strife Affects Our Life

"...he that will blow the Coals must not wonder if some Sparks do fly in his face..."

(Richard Baxter)

 Many people are caught in the web of strife. It has a way of infiltrating the realm of the soul, which is the seat of the mind, will and emotions So let's discuss for a moment about what strife is and how it affects our lives? Strife is ... according to Webster: "a bitter conflict, a quarrel, struggle or clash, it's a competition of rivalry and opposition", the effects of this little six letter word creates much chaos in our lives if not dealt with properly. It deposits anger and bitterness in to our spirits and we are left with the result of unforgiveness and animosity towards the people we have walked in to that web of strife with.

Strife has a way of causing many people to want to hide. It produces guilt and shame. Many of us have heard the phrase: "fight or flight?" Well, it truly is the way we handle conflict in our lives. People who lean more towards passivity and fear of confrontation will flight and people who are more dominating and aggressive in their personalities will fight. Pain has a way of producing different heartaches inside of us, traumatic events tend to cripple some people emotionally and when people aren't healed of these implications of pain and trauma they can react to strife in many different ways.

Another crippling affect happens when people cannot stop dwelling upon past emotional hurts and disappointments. This produces a cycle of guilt and punishment --by causing the person to relive the event over and over in their mind. This may cause people to begin feeling plagued with worthlessness and hopelessness. which becomes the onslaught of depression. See, it all boils down to unhealthy emotions that continue to be fed inside of us. Strife can find it's way in to many areas of our lives through the open doors of pain and trauma that have occurred.

Now that we understand what strife is and the affects it has on our soul, let's talk about how to overcome it and get through to the other side where healing and restoration awaits. Once you recognize that you have entered in to the realm of strife with another person, immediately release your feelings to the Lord. No need to give Him the edited version of what your feeling, He already knows the depth of your hurt. Be honest. When we come before the Lord, we can be transparent and we don't have to hide anything from Him. He sees our heart. The Bible says He looks past the outward appearance and gazes upon the heart.

Here are some effective steps to walk through:

• Acknowledge your pain and the wounding that has taken place in your heart.
•  Get alone with God and deal with your pain and the wounds that have been created inside of you.
• Release that pain to God.
• Submit to what the Word of God says and choose to forgive. You forgive in order to be released from that person, not to let the other person off the hook.
• Strengthen your spirit-man through prayer, meditation and worship and allow the effects of this to rise up over your flesh.
• Pray for the person that you are in a web of strife with and ask God to heal their pain. Remember people who are hurt ... will hurt others. 
• Be kind and gentle with the other person. Don't push yourself on them and attempt to deal with things outside of God's timing, but allow God to have His perfect will done in their lives.

Last but certainly not least, rejoice in the Lord and in the Power of His might! The Bible says He will turn our mourning in to dancing and take off that cloak of despair and replace it with unspeakable joy.

Be blessed! :)
Tracy Trussell
Certified Life Coach and Paraprofessional Counselor with Window To Healing
623-882-2509